Losing my mind

Ever feel like you’re losing your mind?

I’m struggling so bad to stay on top of everything, but I’m sinking and I can feel myself losing the battle.

I’m stressed. Actually, I think stressed would be an improvement. There’s so many things in my life turning to shit at the moment, I’m not sure how much longer I can put on the fake smile and the facade that everything is ok.

I’ve lost 8kg in the last 4 weeks, no diets, just stress. If anything my food intake has worsened – more junk food, more soft drink. And I know that won’t be helping my stress levels, but I’m stuck in that mental rut.

2 weeks ago I told my husband that I’m struggling, I’ve told him that I believe I’m headed for a complete emotional breakdown. He didn’t seem to understand how much strength it took me to admit that, to show him how low my mental health has become, and to admit that I need help. Over the last few days he himself has had a psychotic episode (he has schizophrenia) and spent a few days controlling his moods with Valium, while I just have to dig deeper and cope with that on top of my own struggles too.

I’ve been in a legal battle for nearly 2 years. It’s destroying me. I’m so emotionally exhausted from that, it’s impacting every other facet of life.

My kids are being bullied at school one was stabbed with a pen at school last week, another spent a few days at home after being threatened with being stabbed, I’m trying so hard to deal with that, and the emotional fallout from it. It’s scary, heartbreaking and stressful.

I just have nothing left to give, I’m so close to losing my shit, but at every turn I’m met with more pain, more responsibility and more need for me to be strong.

Not sure how much longer I can function before I crack.

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